What your favorite Berenstain Bears book says about you

Like this book, hate going to the bars.

I thought I’d dedicate today’s post to the great Jan Berenstain, who died Friday at the age of 88. Jan and her husband, Stan (though I usually advocate steering clear of rhyming spousal names, I’ll make an exception here), wrote and illustrated hundreds of books, among them the popular “Berenstain Bears” series.

I devoured these books when I was a kid. Somewhere in Circle Pines, Minn., sits a stack of dog-eared, well-loved books that taught me the dangers of junk food and strangers and greed and partying. I read them constantly, over and over again, but I always gravitated toward one book in particular.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. I conducted a highly scientific study in which I made things up and wrote them down so that you, dear reader, can see what your favorite BB books says about you. Let’s get started with my top read.

Continue reading “What your favorite Berenstain Bears book says about you”

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I fell in love with a stupid fish

My sister’s betta fish died today. This probably means very little to you, but suddenly I feel like it’s two years ago and I’m crying over the little guy floating at the top of a bowl in my kitchen.

His name was Officer Friendly. Yes, Officer Friendly. I don’t have a picture of him, but he looked like this photo I stole from the internet:

I hadn’t had a pet since my three wicked hamsters, Hammy, Flipper and Squeaky, biters and escape artists, died in their cage. I think I was 12, and their loss was the greatest grief I’d known. Pets were done for me. I didn’t even want Friendly, but my sister got him for me one winter when life seemed impossibly hard, when I started learning the truth about the man I loved. Reality was slipping away.

Friendly just ignored me and kept swimming.

Continue reading “I fell in love with a stupid fish”